Living through the pain

I overall wish you nothing but pleasurable Satisfaction’

the last thing I would ever want to be is a distraction’

I had every intention on trying to add Value not subtraction’

But over the years I was so use to relying on charm & attraction’

So instead of sharing all my thoughts I only gave you a fraction’

With each passing transaction I feared your true reaction’

But I gave a lot of moments of my actual true compassion’

But I would freeze in fear, listening to my hearts contractions’

Trying to remove years pain for you like abstractions’

Hiding behind my glasses , smooth actions and fashion’

But some how you saw thru my strong exterior and deep insta Captions’

Thought you was cappen told me loosing you would hurt but I couldn’t imagine’

I tried to be the captain, pilot and attendant and as a result Im forever Crashin’

So my pass pleasures has me stuck in present pain while my life is flashing’

But I keep taking trips & buying drip so you don’t see the hurt I’m masking’

Faking smiles while in denial when things get foul I call it multitasking’

It only took a minute for me to lose you but the result is for everlasting’